Alone and tired in bed again . . .
memory rippling, vague
"i had a dream i was water''
Formless, fluid, connected to all.
Creatures were flowing
through the body.
everywhere and nowhere nothing and everything a calm weightlessness embodied.
with no relation to a from an origin or desire to know what she is or where she came from.
squirming, she felt her self
(dis)integrating at the base of atoms and pixels weaving reality.
evolving; the currents rose creating a swelling
tectonic masses forming above and through her
land and dirt and the potential of life that would not suffocate on oxygen.
i had a dream i
was water. . .
her fluid contained by a new form.
filling up her mind.
what has been once dissolved perished.
leaving remains, bones
only to be re-embellished and contained by flesh.
she took a big gulp of air as her body fell numb. feeling the tingling sensation of a presence near the mattress.
slithering, they made their way behind and into her ear, inserting themselves close enough to the eardrum without rupturing it.
'you must now embark on a journey of the perpetual search . . .'
'you see, i don't have anything on me.
only my body'
'No no please I don’t want to reveal my self'
Disappearing into the forest mist the figure left her stumbling in to physicality. looking at her fingers waking .
all languages started melting together
surrounding suffocating symbols
you must leave. . .you have no choice.
the answer is
in the sewer
how could i trust you. . .
you can be any body
. . . she disappeared into the strobing purple fog
while the music palpitated within and around her.
Running to the bathroom she looked in the mirror-
“There’s an ocean above us” she thought to herself watching as pupils dilate
“no, it can't be, it's just purgatory.”
She drank tap water
Feeling her pineal gland calcifying
Her thoughts becoming vacant with space for impression.
"I want to scoop out my eyeballs.
you wont believe the shit I've seen''
it smelled like human feces bubbling in the sun as spit dried up on the hot concrete.
everyone seemed to be exploding on the inside. bulging speeding excess.
she could not help but notice the stench.
not of the defecating bodies, but that of flesh being cooked from the cities underbelly.
she followed the smoke to the manhole on the empty street. . .
Lifting the cover,
she went underground- the city rhythm slowly dissolving,
descending. . .
climbing down - the pits.
thick and slimy
soup of DNA,
flushed away fetuses, goldfish, excrements of mortality
swallowed her feet as she followed the magnetic feeling leading her to the source ~
surrounded by carcasses
of mammals unidentified
hanging upside down
her body splashing through pus.
her eyes enlarged hypnotized as an intense longing washed over her.
Peaking through the putrid morphed a powdery smell. so sweet like cotton candy and new borns. so sweet and so powdery. her heart in waves rising up
she swallowed the little bit of vomit making its way up her esophagus.
home. . .
endless parallels floating in the tubes. all her
potential selves, strangers. all that she could have been. if only. a familiarity in physicality but an emptiness unfamiliar. each clone a soul case belonging to no definitive time or location until uploaded with connection.
her skin was tingling. all over, waves pushing her falling bursting pores guts busting through
turning her inside out. her heart exposed beating profusely
love and pain gushing out
she was faced with her likeness, crowded with propaganda
to her self. mass traumas, shared global memeries. collective imaginations. cultural collapse. & a customizable god.
whats wrong with you,
you aren't from here
I am from everywhere
every one was seeing things she could not see-
in The primordial model training hub. one of them, with no capacity to perceive her, felt her presence . a ghost. he barked. she ran. in circles. swirling in the sand
a white cube appeared hollowing, enlarging, zooming, sucking her within.
memory museum. artifacts & ephemera of a collective consciousness - histories alien to her.
'running and jumped over a stream
was green and everyone was happy and no one had a body '
"every land is a holy land"